Choices
by dreamcatcherxx
Summary: Missing scene from 1x13 Henry finds out Catherine slit her wrists.


Missing scene from 1x13 Henry finds out Catherine slit her wrists.

**Disclaimer: Don't own Reign.**

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><p>"Where is the Queen?" Henry called out to a guard. He needed someone to yell at and let off some steam from the display that Scottish brat just made.<p>

"Her Highness…" his guard hesitated, which caused the King to look sharply at the man.

"Well, out with it! Where is she?"

"She is being tended to, your majesty?" the guard finally replied, slightly reluctant, meaning that Catherine had ordered him not to say anything.

"What the hell do you mean she is being tended to. Where. Is. She?!"

"In the infirmary, Nostradamus is attending to her injuries?"

Henry scrunched up his face in confusion, "Injuries, what injuries?"

At the guards pause, the King was finally fed up and went off to find his Queen, making a mental note to have the man severely reprimanded later.

Right now, he needed to find his wife.

…..

"The bleeding has stopped and the stitches shall hold the skin together. It would be best if you not carry any heavy objects or travel for the time being lest the wounds open up again," Nostradamus instructed, continuing to clean Catherine's wrist off from all the blood she had lost.

"Thank you, though this wouldn't have happened if you had told me sooner," the Queen chided, still quite angry with him about the whole, 'Francis will live' thing.

"I understand, and thank you for your mercy"

Catherine sighed, trying to take her mind off the pain in her wrist, "So tell me exactly what your vision held?"

"Francis and Mary, together, talking about their children"

"I must go to Mary, she still needs some persuading to choose Francis though I am fairly certain she loves him. As I said before, she is his equal in every way. Though I wonder-"

The Queen was cut off by her husband who came barreling through the door. Catherine tried to pull her wrist from Nostradamus and hide it from Henry's view but it was too late, the King had already seen.

"What happened?" Henry growled, narrowing his eyes at both the Queen and her physician.

Catherine nodded to her old friend, telling him that she would be all right as the man got up and left the room, giving the royal couple their privacy. Since she was already stitched up, she resumed the task of cleaning the blood off her wrist before putting a bandage on it.

"Answer me!" Henry yelled when his wife remained quiet.

Catherine let out a breath of frustration, "What does it even matter to you? Your were going to chop off my head anyway. If I was to die regardless, I would at least like it to be of my own choosing."

"You're saying you did this to yourself?"

"If you want to be technical about it the shard of glass is to blame. Which reminds me, I need to get a new looking glass for my rooms since I broke the other. Of course that's even if I live to see tomorrow, you may very well have me beheaded by days end."

Henry hadn't moved from his spot where he first entered, and she's not sure what that particularly means but she supposes it has no real effect on her since he hasn't run her though yet.

Moving to stand and retrieve a proper bandage for her arm, the blood loss finally catches up to her and she begins to fall when she feels herself being steadied by something. There is an arm around her waist holding her up and she is being placed back on the bench she had previously occupied.

Curiously, she sees Henry retract his arm from her waist and retrieve the bandage for her. Gently taking her arm in his hands, he carefully placed the bandage to cover her mangled wrist before wrapping it securely, making sure there was no way for infection to get in.

Catherine watches him, confused as to why he is even bothering to help her let alone remain here at her side. Henry _never_ handled her with such care, especially not after he found out about her betrayal. So why was he making such an effort now? It made no sense to her.

After the bandage was secured, Catherine expected Henry to simply leave or even rebuke her for trying to go against his will. What she did not expect was the King lifting her into his arms and carrying her bridal style back to her chambers.

"Henry, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm carrying you, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Thank you for that brilliant observation. What I would like to know is why?"

"You've clearly lost a lot of blood if the state of your gown is any indication, you need as much rest as possible."

"I can walk just fine"

"Yes, your ability to stand without falling is a clear sign of that."

Catherine huffs, "Then why not just let a guard carry me or something."

"You would really allow a guard carry you?" he gives her a look of disbelief because honestly, she really wouldn't have let anyone carry her. Even Henry she would prefer it if he wasn't but she was not in the position to refuse.

By that time they had reached her chambers. He gently set her down on the bed and dismissed everyone from the room, including the maids that were currently mopping up her blood from the vanity.

The evidence of what had happened was plain as day, minus Mary being a witness to the whole thing. Catherine was not entirely sure how well her husband would react to her cutting herself in front of the Scottish Queen in an effort to convince her that she could marry their son.

From her spot on the bed, Catherine watched as Henry threw off his coat onto her couch and approached her vanity, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Was this all quite necessary?"

He says, gesturing to the blood.

Catherine shrugs, "Seemed like it at the time. But why would this have any effect on you, if anything I would think you would have been disappointed to almost be rid of me. Or perhaps glad now that you may execute me yourself."

"You wouldn't have died. Francis would never have allowed it, your children would never have allowed it," he says, turning to look at her. "He came back for you, you know, when he found out about your execution. Oh, and did I not tell you? Elizabeth sent a message this mourning. If you or her brothers were harmed in any way, there would be a Spanish armada at my doorstep."

Catherine smirks, pride in her children that she could not conceal. "What can I tell you? They love their mother."

"It would seem so. Still, I'm not going kill you, no matter which of my sons Mary chooses." Seeing her wrist cut up and covered in blood, her clothes and even the floor soaked where she had bled out. He couldn't bring himself to kill her. It would destroy him if even seeing this much of her blood upset him more then words could express. She was still _his Queen._

Catherine had to admit she was surprised, "Oh, why such change of heart?"

"I meant what I said before, I can't let you go. That hasn't changed no matter what you've done."

"Really, and why should I believe you?"

"Then don't, either way, you wont die. I will get England one day, and I need you to help me do that. You made me a promise remember, and I am still holding you to it."

She remembers that promise, back when they used to dream about what kind of mark they would make on the world. Catherine doesn't really know what to say at that point, so she remains silent until he speaks again.

"Did you love him?"

The Queen looks to see him turned away now, not sure if she should answer him truthfully. But as it was she did want the chance to explain herself, which he would not allow before.

"I thought I did, I wanted to and I think at least a part of me did. Not as much as you, obviously, but I did love him to an extent."

He doesn't know whether to be angry or relieved, but still, hearing her say that makes his blood boil.

"When did it start?"

She goes over to her wardrobe now, deciding she needed to get out of these blood stained clothes.

"A few years after you brought Diane back to court."

He scoffs, "So it was some form of childish rebellion? It must have been difficult for you two to keep up the charade for so long," he says, bitterness laced through his words.

Catherine responds, attempting to keep calm. "Not really, you had never really noticed what I did back then. And it only lasted a few months until I sent him away, unlike your affair that started before we were even married."

She laughed humorlessly, her back to him now so he can't see her mask falling. She couldn't bring herself to face him, it would hurt far too much."You know it actually took me a while to understand that; even though we were married, she had been in your heart all along."

Suddenly Henry is at her side, holding her chin so she would look at him.

"So were you"

He's looking at her in a way he hasn't in years, and for a moment, she was transported back to a time where he loved her and she loved him and that was all that mattered. Before fear, and pride, and anger ripped them apart and murdered them.

"Tell me, if you could have chosen between us, would you have chosen him?"

She wants so badly to say yes, to hurt him like he has hurt her a million times over. But she can't lie to him, not anymore. Besides, nothing between them would change.

"No"

She feels him moving towards her, getting far to close until they're practically breathing the same air. It takes everything in her to put her hand on his chest, stopping him from going any further.

"Henry, Don't" she breathes out, almost pleadingly.

He looks at her another moment before stepping away and she lets out a relieved sigh. He'd already torn apart her heart once this week and she's not about to let him do it again.

"Rest, I"ll see you at the wedding," he's almost at the door before he turns back to her one last time, " and perhaps your past experiences could help Mary make the right choice."

Then he's gone, grabbing his furs on the way out.

Catherine stares after him for a moment, digesting what he just said. It was true that she too had been in love with two different men, though she never had a choice in which to marry.

Even so, she would have chosen Henry. Even after everything that they had done to each other. Richard was more a moment of comfort during a time where she felt abused and ignored. She knew that he would always put her first, and she had loved him for that. But in her heart, if she had to choose, Henry…well, she would always love him more.

That was when she was struck with an idea. Changing into a far more comfortable dress, Catherine folded a piece of parchment and stamped it with the Vatican seal she had stolen on her last trip to Italy.

It was time for her to choose, confident which of Henry's sons Mary loved more. After all, she did see quite a bit of herself in the young Queen.

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><p>AN: I refuse to believe that Henry did not find out about his wife cutting herself and him having absolutely no reaction to it. I also thing that there had to be some interaction between them to drop the adultery charges, most Queens get executed no matter what especially if they actually committed it and Henry was seriously pissed at her. And they hadn't talked about the Richard thing either so these were my thoughts on the little plot holes of the episode. Also this story was semi inspired by IndigoQueen's Our Toxic Love so if you haven't read it seriously get on that.


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